Wednesday, April 16, 2008

sick and tired of being sick and tired

I'm really hoping to gain back some motivation and energy soon. I just passed my 13th week of pregnancy and I'm just one big blob of laziness! Let me ellaborate.

My house is a disaster. Granted, we just moved a few weeks ago, but to be honest it looks pretty much as it did about a week ago. However, my laundry piles are behaving like bunnies. It's not just dirty laundry, though. Yes, I have clean piles and just not enough energy to actually fold them. The trick is remembering which ones are which.

I have also cancelled piano lessons now for three weeks in a row. My students and their parents are going to wash their hands of me before too much longer! Although at this moment I've dropped down to 6 students and can honestly say that as of right now I don't plan to pursue any more. I'm just going to let them drop off or take off the summer and then evaluate come fall. It's just getting too hard with my kids, and will only get harder in October.

I have procrastinated a very important task due to my laziness. In some ways I was hoping it wasn't actually happening. Remember last year when I was dreading having to learn the organ, then I moved out of the ward and thought I was off the hook? Well, back in February I was talking with our Stake Music Chairman, I am a Stake Music Specialist, when she informed me that she was planning on me being the organist for the adult session of stake conference in April. I didn't really respond at the time, I think I was too surprised. I turned right around and called my mother in a bit of a panic and said, "She does know that I don't know how to play the organ yet, right?" Yeah, she knew, but it was time that I learned. So, I make my organ debut at stake conference. Anyone want to trade? I'm actually feeling pretty good about the two songs that I have to play, given that I still have another week and a half to practice. But our life has been so crazy the last little while, this whole organ thing was just one more thing I didn't have the energy to deal with until about now. Wish me luck.

Jon has been working overnight this whole week, which just really throws a kink in the flow of our days. He's tired, and I'm even more tired, although I can't explain why. It will be over tomorrow night, then he gets Friday, Saturday, and Sunday off. Maybe we'll get pulled together this weekend.

These last two thoughts are necessarily laziness related, but I wanted to note them.

Welcome back to homeownership! I have a guy coming tomorrow to fix all the missing shingles on our roof. Why, because yesterday we had crazy wind gusts of 50 mph that blew them off in various sections. It was fun to listen to them flapping around up there on the rooftop, trying to guess when they would finally give up the fight and just come off already. The best part? We got it the worst out of all the houses in our area.

Finally, we got some crazy news this morning. Jon was trying to sleep when he got a phone call and then a text message from one of the girls he used to work with over at Walgreens. When he checked them he came out and told me that Shane had died in his sleep overnight. Shane was the head pharmacist that Jon worked with for about a year and half over there. He still talked to him quite a bit when his family would come in to Target. This morning his wife woke up and he wasn't breathing. They tried to ressucitate him but couldn't. We don't know what happened, but it is likely just one of those crazy things. The part that is so hard for us is that he has two little girls, 5 and 3. Shane turned 31 just three days ago. Needless to say, Jon couldn't go back to sleep. I just can't even imagine what his wife is going through. How do you process something like this? One minute you're going along, things are normal, life has a plan. The next, your life is changed in a way you never imagined. It just helps remind me how much we don't control. I need to be better at living in a way that I would be proud of, should the unthinkable happen. Don't my earlier complaints just seems a bit trivial now?

Thursday, April 10, 2008

ever felt this way?

I just received the following in an email from a friend. Sooo funny because it is true!

Mormon Women:

If you, or someone you know has ever felt overwhelmed by all they feel they need to do, Vickie Gunther of Redlands , California , wrote a hilarious poem, Dr. Seuss style, about how much LDS women try to take on. David B. Marsh used it at Women's Conference, and Vickie has given permission to share it.

The Girl in a Whirl by 'Dr. Sue' (a.k. A.. Vickie Gunther)
Look at me, look at me, look at me now!
You could do what I do if you only knew how.
I study the scriptures one hour each day;
I bake, I upholster, I scrub, and I pray.
I always keep all the commandments completely;
I speak to my little ones gently and sweetly.
I help in their classrooms! I sew all they wear!
I drive them to practice! I cut all their hair!
I memorize names of the General Authorities;
I focus on things to be done by priorities.
I play the piano! I bless with my talents!
My toilets all sparkle! My checkbooks all balance!
Each week every child gets a one-on-one date;
I attend all my meetings (on time! Never late!)
I'm taking a class on the teachings of Paul,
But that is not all! Oh, no. That is not all,
I track my bad habits 'til each is abolished;
Our t-shirts are ironed! My toenails are polished!
Our family home evenings are always delightful;
The lessons I give are both fun and insightful.
I do genealogy faithfully, too.
It's easy to do all the things that I do!
I rise each day early, refreshed and awake;
I know all the names of each youth in my stake!
I read to my children! I help all my neighbors!
I bless the community, too, with my labors.
I exercise and I cook menus gourmet;
My visiting teaching is done the first day!
(I also go do it for someone who missed hers.
It's the least I can do for my cherished ward sisters.)
I chart resolutions and check off each goal;
I seek each "lost lamb" on my Primary roll.
I can home-grown produce each summer and fall.
But that is not all! Oh, no. That is not all,
I write in my journal! I sing in the choir!
Each day, I write "thank you's" to those I admire.
My sons were all Eagles when they were fourteen!
My kids get straight A's! And their bedrooms are clean!
I have a home business to help make some money;
I always look beautifully groomed for my honey.
I go to the temple at least once a week;
I change the car's tires! I fix the sink's leak!
I grind my own wheat and I bake all our bread;
I have all our meals planned out six months ahead.
I make sure I rotate our two-years' supply;
My shopping for Christmas is done by July!
These things are not hard; 'tis good if you do them;
You can if you try! Just set goals and pursue them!
It's easy to do all the things that I do!
If you plan and work smart, you can do them all, too!

It's easy!" she said and then she dropped dead.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008


You may have been wondering...where have I been lately? I have not given up blogging, despite how it may seem. To put it simply, I've been a little busy since the last post. But before I recap, there are more beans to be spilled. I've been harboring a little secret, a secret which has placed me on my husband's "list" for the last 8 weeks. You see, Jon has a hard time keeping secrets, especially ones he is excited about. I, on the other hand, don't mind waiting a while to share some things. The first three times we had this secret, it was only a matter of days before the news had been spread to anyone who wanted to listen. This time, I thought it a bit more prudent to wait until, oh say, the end of the first trimester. After all, I am getting older and it's not like it's the first time around for us. That's right, baby number 4 is on the way! We finally told our parents this last weekend. I'm only 12 weeks along, but I think Jon honestly feels like I've been torturing him by making him wait to tell. To be fair, some of our siblings and close friends knew a little while ago. I had to give a little bit to keep Jon from going crazy. For some reason, it seemed like we still had a secret when we told people who lived far away. He doesn't understand why I wanted to wait, and I can't necessarily explain it myself, but it doesn't really matter anymore now.

While I love my kids, I am currently in the stage of pregnancy which makes it easy for me to say that number 4 is likely to be the last addition to our family. I have been driving my husband crazy since week 6, when the all-day-long-yuck kicked in. One thing I've learned doing this 4 times now is that the pregnancy books are liars when they say that it gets better with each pregnancy. HAH! Mine has definitely gotten worse each time around. I'm like a useless blob, which is no good when you have to pack and move in three weeks (more about that to come). Anyways, my exhaustion has definitely increased as well. I'm sure that has nothing to do with my other three kids, though! The other thing the books lie about is the 12 week mark as the "magical" point when all of these unpleasant early symptoms disappear in favor of more energy and the hey-my-nausea-is-gone-it's-a-miracle feeling. Last time around, I kept looking toward that 12 week mark, telling myself "just two more weeks and I'll feel better." But, it came and went, and I still felt awful. I actually reached the point where I talked to my doctor about taking Unisom to help with the nausea. I never actually did take it, but came really close. You hit the point where you decide that you're just never going to feel good again and you try to block it out. And then, one day, you notice for the first time in a long time that you feel normal. For me, that point came between 16 and 17 weeks with Grace, so I'm resigned to at least another month before it gets much better. In any case, despite my complaining here, we are very excited about this new addition. My due date is October 19th, but given that I've delivered 2 of my 3 kids about two weeks early, I fully expect to have this baby closer to the beginning of October. Now, on to other news.

As I alluded to earlier, we have moved, AGAIN. But, this move will be a more permanent move than most of our other 16. At least I think it is 16, you kind of stop counting after a certain point. Anyways, the day after we took back our offer on the first house, we made on offer on another house. It was accepted without any problems, and we closed about 3 weeks later, on March 27th. We have spent the last month or so wrapped up in all that goes along with buying a house and moving. We are still settling in, but I hope to to be completed with that soon. As soon as I find my camera, I also promise to post pictures of the house. I would use the ones that were on the internet from the listing, but I'm sure it has been taken down by now. We are very excited to be in this new house, and to be homeowners again. While it is not our dream house, it will suit our needs for the next 3-5 years and hopefully propel us towards the type of house we really want down the road.

While I have so many other things I should post and catch up on from the last couple months, it is currently past my 8:30 pm bedtime (I wasn't kidding about being exhausted right now!) and I really must turn in. I hope to have more energy soon, because Jon is tired of trying to talk to me when he comes to bed and having me get upset that he is trying to keep me from sleeping. I hope to be normal again soon.