Wednesday, April 16, 2008

sick and tired of being sick and tired

I'm really hoping to gain back some motivation and energy soon. I just passed my 13th week of pregnancy and I'm just one big blob of laziness! Let me ellaborate.

My house is a disaster. Granted, we just moved a few weeks ago, but to be honest it looks pretty much as it did about a week ago. However, my laundry piles are behaving like bunnies. It's not just dirty laundry, though. Yes, I have clean piles and just not enough energy to actually fold them. The trick is remembering which ones are which.

I have also cancelled piano lessons now for three weeks in a row. My students and their parents are going to wash their hands of me before too much longer! Although at this moment I've dropped down to 6 students and can honestly say that as of right now I don't plan to pursue any more. I'm just going to let them drop off or take off the summer and then evaluate come fall. It's just getting too hard with my kids, and will only get harder in October.

I have procrastinated a very important task due to my laziness. In some ways I was hoping it wasn't actually happening. Remember last year when I was dreading having to learn the organ, then I moved out of the ward and thought I was off the hook? Well, back in February I was talking with our Stake Music Chairman, I am a Stake Music Specialist, when she informed me that she was planning on me being the organist for the adult session of stake conference in April. I didn't really respond at the time, I think I was too surprised. I turned right around and called my mother in a bit of a panic and said, "She does know that I don't know how to play the organ yet, right?" Yeah, she knew, but it was time that I learned. So, I make my organ debut at stake conference. Anyone want to trade? I'm actually feeling pretty good about the two songs that I have to play, given that I still have another week and a half to practice. But our life has been so crazy the last little while, this whole organ thing was just one more thing I didn't have the energy to deal with until about now. Wish me luck.

Jon has been working overnight this whole week, which just really throws a kink in the flow of our days. He's tired, and I'm even more tired, although I can't explain why. It will be over tomorrow night, then he gets Friday, Saturday, and Sunday off. Maybe we'll get pulled together this weekend.

These last two thoughts are necessarily laziness related, but I wanted to note them.

Welcome back to homeownership! I have a guy coming tomorrow to fix all the missing shingles on our roof. Why, because yesterday we had crazy wind gusts of 50 mph that blew them off in various sections. It was fun to listen to them flapping around up there on the rooftop, trying to guess when they would finally give up the fight and just come off already. The best part? We got it the worst out of all the houses in our area.

Finally, we got some crazy news this morning. Jon was trying to sleep when he got a phone call and then a text message from one of the girls he used to work with over at Walgreens. When he checked them he came out and told me that Shane had died in his sleep overnight. Shane was the head pharmacist that Jon worked with for about a year and half over there. He still talked to him quite a bit when his family would come in to Target. This morning his wife woke up and he wasn't breathing. They tried to ressucitate him but couldn't. We don't know what happened, but it is likely just one of those crazy things. The part that is so hard for us is that he has two little girls, 5 and 3. Shane turned 31 just three days ago. Needless to say, Jon couldn't go back to sleep. I just can't even imagine what his wife is going through. How do you process something like this? One minute you're going along, things are normal, life has a plan. The next, your life is changed in a way you never imagined. It just helps remind me how much we don't control. I need to be better at living in a way that I would be proud of, should the unthinkable happen. Don't my earlier complaints just seems a bit trivial now?

8 comments:

Audrey said...

I hear you on the energy thing since I am only one week ahead of you. Although, I do get bursts of energy in the morning and plow through things, so I feel better about myself. I end up feeling super tired later, but the house is clean around me, so it gives me peace of mind.
As for the organ, I'm certain you'll do great. You're incredibly smart, so I'm not worried for one second.
As to the death of your friend, that is just incredibly sad news. I hope that she can find comfort. I can't imagine dealing with that issue.

Emily said...

Wow. So sad about your friend.

And I am so sorry about your no energy. That is so hard. When I am pregnant I am really good for nothing. I just move from a chair, to a bed, to the couch, to the floor. I'm exhausted the first trimester, then try to recover from all the damage done by my laziness in the second and then I'm no good again in the third because again, I am exhausted. And it really doesn't work so well with other kiddos that need things, LOTS of things, OFTEN. But, you are right, we are blessed and have to enjoy every minute because we never know when we might not be able to enjoy those moments.

Kendra said...

are you ever going to post pics of your new house? You're killing me here!

Emily said...

I'm sorry, I know you feel like ick, but I'm with Kendra, give us pics!

Sierra said...

Hey congrats on the pregnancy! That is fun news. Believe me, I know the exhaustion that comes with it... and I only have 1 kid running around right now. Cut yourself some slack and know that you are doing just fine... probably better than most.
Congrats on the house and welcome to home ownership... it's a lot of work, but there is pride in it.
Sorry to hear about your friend, that is tough news. It is always good to be reminded about what is right and beautiful in this world when all we see is dirty laundry. I am grateful every day for my family and the amazing joy they are in my life. Take care and know that you are in my prayers.

Melanie said...

Kimmy, while reading the first part of your blog, I felt as if it could be my own. I too am pregnant (just starting week 13), it sounds like I'm just a little bit behind you. But I honestly have the same piles of laundry, both clean and dirty. My energy has completely disappeared!

Emily said...

Ha, I think Tori has some work to do... to catch up with me, you, and Mel...go read my blog!

Emily said...

Okay, you need to post. I know you feel yuck, so just post about yuck if you want. But I need a dose of Kimmy.